Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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