love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
