dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
