Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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