dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
