i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
