Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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