Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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