Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
