I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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