We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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