Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize