Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
