If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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