If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
