Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
