I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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