Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
