I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
