I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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