Non-Jews are for practice
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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