I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
