She's JV to your varsity
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
