Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.