marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk