3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.