no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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