Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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