ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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