it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
