Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
