Is it normal to miss your booty call?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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