you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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