he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
