You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
