is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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