I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
