You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
