i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
