So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
