My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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