bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
