you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
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