But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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