"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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