I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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