I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
