The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
