i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
