im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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