I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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