he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
