I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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