so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
