there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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