i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
