chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
