we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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