stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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