Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
