remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
