i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
