remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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