I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
