Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
