Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
