Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize