i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is classic penis vs brain.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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